Thinking Thursday: Genius

Thinking Thursday will showcase photos or videos that left me thinking, "Wow. I'm smart". This series hopes to provide readers with proof that I do think sometimes. Also, this may be a one-part series. 

Go here to see why this is so miraculous.

Just me being genius. 

Thinking.

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Ignoramus

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Being such an ignoramus that it's almost genius.

 

What was I thinking?

Flashback Blahg: I GOT MY LICENSE!!

Flashback Blahg provides readers with a glimpse into my blog from high school. And reminds me why I wasn't at the top of the social ladder.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006-

 I GOT MY LICENSE!!

Oh yeah! I got my license!!!! 

Can you believe it!? I got a 100% on the test (alright, I lied...I got an 80...but hey, passing is passing)!

I busted a few myths on the test I would like to share:

Myth: You have to parallel park between two cars. 
Fact: You only have to do it behind one. 

Myth: You have to parallel park perfectly. 
Fact: You can indeed curb it the first time and then ask to do it again. You can even end up halfway in the road the second time and still pass! 

Myth: You have to stop at every stop sign completely. 
Fact: To pass, you can only roll through two. 

Myth: When turning, you must turn into the closest lane. 
Fact: You can turn into the far one on accident at the most, three times. 

Myth: When doing a turn-about, you have to look behind your shoulder. 
Fact: You can still pass if you forget but cry. 

So anyway, these examples are NOT personal...completely...well a little maybe....but I passed and that’s all that counts! 

OH! And another thing - make sure to stop at the little ticket thing when going back into the garage. Don't pass it until you car is UNDER the bar and another car is behind you and it's impossible to back up. You may have to get OUT of the car to push the button and when you are getting back into the car you just might hit your head on the top of the door...HARD. Then you might get a little confused and almost turn the wrong way into the garage. Then when your instructor tells you to park you might accidentally park in a pedestrian zone. Just hypothetically speaking, of course. 

Hopefully these words of advice will serve you well. 

Oh, and if your instructor begins lecturing you about how bad you did and how don't deserve your license, just simply give him the puppy eyes and say, "Please don't fail me!" and it works! Hypothetically speaking... 

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Cheese-its

"What Was I Thinking" Wednesday showcases photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way.

Confusing the seagulls by feeding them Cheese-its while wearing an orange bathing suit.

What was I thinking?

Your Deadly Weapon

What if I told you I owned a secret weapon that could hurt almost anyone, anywhere at basically anytime and never get traced back to me?

And you have this weapon, too?

And you have it in your hands right now?

Now that I have set alarms off at CIA and FBI headquarters, let me reveal this weapon.

It’s your keyboard.

Whether or not that keyboard is on a phone, tablet, or computer, it holds more power than most realize. In fact, I’m just finding that out in my recent blogging endeavors. Like most things of power, it can be used for good. It can pave the way to productive discussions, encouraging comments, or eye-opening stories. But many times, it tends to become a weapon unlike any other.

A majority of people online today aren’t “bloggers” themselves, but are reading and responding to blogs via social media at an increasing rate. Most of these blogs that have gone viral do so because they hit a nerve with people, which is definitely not a bad thing. Conversation is good. I’m a proponent of it.

But if you go to the latest “blog gone viral” on your Facebook wall and read the comments, I would be surprised if there weren’t a few that stepped over the line just a tad. Comments that attack the writer rather than his or her thoughts, or often times, assume and attack statements not even made. The more people the post reaches, the more insane some of the comments get. And what you probably don’t realize by looking at the post is that 10X as many hateful comments are coming to the person’s private inbox.

And here’s the catch: Most of these people are anonymous.

Anyone can post anything as anybody…or as a nobody.

 I’ve had my first blog go semi-viral, thanks to the opportunity to guest post on my pastor’s blog. Feel free to check it out here- if you are nice. Since this blog was posted a few days ago, I have had my first “trolls” attack- a couple directly on the post and others privately to my email inbox. I’ve seen these online trolls attack others before, but until I got a small glimpse of it myself, I didn't realize just how lethal a keyboard can be.



Here are three things I wish we would all remember before responding to a person’s post online. With these in mind, I think we can ensure our keyboard doesn’t become a deadly weapon.

• You don’t have the full story.    

A 500-word blog rarely encompasses all you need to make a full judgment on a person or their complete stance on an issue. While there is nothing wrong with questioning a person’s statement(s) or arguing a different viewpoint, it is vital to remember you do not have the full story. Many blank spaces exist where a subject is not fully tackled. Far too many times, a reader assumes and projects an author’s thoughts and stances in these blank spaces without even realizing it. In fact, the person may very well agree with what you are saying in a face-to-face conversation. An online post is one-dimensional and static. You never see all the angles of a person or the subject.  

• You can’t hear inflection. 

Although words can be bolded, highlighted, or italicized in order to create inflection within online posts, it is impossible to fully gather the appropriate tone. I’ve often realized that my mood can alter the way I read something. On a particularly stressful day, for example, I may project my short fuse onto an author’s tone and become irritated at their thoughts. Remember you are not actually hearing a person speak when you read their blog. Leave room for the possibility of an error interpreting. In such instances, if you want to understand what he or she meant, simply ask. Tell them in your comment that you interpret them to mean XYZ and ask whether or not that is the case.

• You are responding to a person. 

I believe this is the most important thing to remember in an online world. Without seeing a person’s face, it is very easy to forget you are corresponding with a person at all. I am willing to bet that 99% of arguments found online would not be had in person or would be much more mature and productive face-to-face. Realize someone is on the other side of the computer. Someone with a life, with feelings, with a family. Just like you.

 Again, disagreements are okay. Online bullying is not. Let’s make sure our household keyboards don’t become weapons of mass destruction.

What do you think?

Feel free to leave your thoughts, but please remember you are responding to a person, not just a computer.

Me vs. Bobby Perry

I was raised to believe in two things: Jesus and UK basketball.

That is why I was insanely jealous when Banks, my 11-year-old brother, began taking basketball lessons with Bobby Perry. Banks was too young to understand how big of a deal that was, but I certainly was not. I was just a few years older than Banks when I watched Bobby play as UK's starting forward.

That may or may not have also been why all of the sudden I decided I wanted to come home on the weekends and offer to take my brother to his basketball lessons. But I’m admitting nothing.

 One day, after Banks finished his lesson, Bobby stayed on the sidelines of the empty gym having a conversation with my dad. My palms began to sweat. I knew it was my shot.

 My chance to prove myself. 

So I got up, strutted onto the court, and ripped the ball straight out of Banks’ hands. He giggled and lazily put his arms up in a poor attempt at defense. Obviously he didn’t know whom he was messing with, here. They don’t call me “Jordan” for nothin’.

Frustrated at his mocking of my skill, I leaned my shoulder into his body, and pulled back for an incredible fade-away jumper.

 Swish.

 It was textbook. I made my 75 pound, 5’1” brother look like a fool.

I looked back over my shoulder and saw Bobby’s nod of affirmation (and my dad’s embarrassed nod of disapproval).

The moment was perfect.

But then they kept talking and my
brother kept shooting.

My moment was gone.

 I know it’s a silly story (although I’m still quite proud), but as silly as it is, I think this is a regular game many Christians play. Many times, it is the same show we try to put on in front of God.

As my mom continues to point out, a former UK basketball player probably wasn’t awestruck at my show of talent against my kid brother. While the point is still debatable, I seriously doubt that God, the definition of holy, is ever really that impressed with our shows of holiness.

 You know what I’m talking about…like the times when we swell up on the inside as we slip our tithe in the offering plate, memorize a Bible verse, or take a Saturday morning to serve food to the homeless.

 “Look at me NOW, God,” we think. “Did you see that? THAT was holy.”

It’s almost as if any good work we do makes up for any bad we have done.

Now, that may not be a thought process we consciously participate in, but if we are honest, I think our hearts far too often resonate with the belief that God is impressed by our acts of “holiness."

 It’s comical really. Just as attempting to show off was foolish in the eyes of Bobby Perry, the Lord says our “righteous acts are as filthy rags" in the eyes of the Lord (Isaiah 64:6).

Don’t get me wrong here - God indeed calls us to righteousness. But such acts naturally progress out of the overflow of the heart motivated by HIM and for HIM. Not by us for us.

 We are the farthest things from holy, 100% separated from a holy God.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

 It is God’s grace that saves us. God’s grace that redeems us. And God’s grace working through us to bring about holiness.

 Our faith is rooted in the grace of God - the sacrifice of Jesus. Christians are called to embrace that grace. Not to attempt redemption by our own efforts. We get that at the moment of salvation, but somewhere along the lines some of us begin “showing off” in hopes of gaining God’s favor.

 It’s foolish. 

And it’s hurtful to a savior that sacrificed it all.

Our righteous acts don’t measure up. But HE does. And He works in and through us.

Let’s stop spitting on the work of the Cross.

It’s worth too much. 


 “O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” Galatians 3:1-3


Related Post: How Inauthenticity Kills the Church

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Gilligan

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Agreeing to be Gilligan.

What was I thinking?

Single and Stuck

I used to be stuck on an escalator. Yes, an escalator.

Here are some folks who experienced the same thing…

Okay, so the escalator was allegorical (although it is plausible that I would figure out a way to get stuck on one literally). The point is, I have spent most of my life waiting for the next chapter- the next big thing. I liked high school all right, but I knew I wasn’t really living until I played ball in college. So that is what I was waiting for. When I got to college, something funny happened, though. I liked college, but I knew I wasn’t really living until I got a career. So that is what I was waiting for.

 Well now I have a career. And as soon as the “looking for a job” anxiety subsided, it seemed a new form of anxiety began knocking on my heart. It said, “Jordan, you aren’t really living until you are married.”

I blame the Facebook world for deciding the most exciting articles to post all had to do with “the right age” to marry. Because there is obviously one formula, right?

Pretty soon, I got sick of the topic, though. My Facebook feed began annoying me. So for the first time ever, I said "adios" to my anxiety.

Because I’m living NOW. 

And I love now. 

I’m 23 and single.

And I’m done waiting for this escalator to move.

I’m getting off. 

Unlike a lot of women my age, I don’t feel like my singleness is a disease. I actually feel like I have quite a blessing.

When I chose to step off the escalator and embrace life NOW, incredible things began happening and I was able to appreciate them unlike ever before.

I have built amazing friendships in my singleness. I have joined an incredible church in my singleness. I have traveled many weekends in my singleness. I have found a job that I love in my singleness. I have learned to horribly play the guitar in my singleness. I have even learned I like to be geeky and blog in my singleness.

Because life is now.

And I’m not waiting on the next big thing anymore.

Will I be joyful when God brings the next chapter?

 Of course.

But HE gets to turn the page when He wants to. Until then, I’m going to enjoy this chapter.

And if He brings marriage, then awesome. A new blessing to embrace.

 So if you are like me, and single, no matter your age, don’t believe the lie that you aren’t living yet. Or if you are married and you don’t have children yet, don’t believe you aren’t living. Let’s stop waiting on the next big thing, and pursue the Lord now. Pursue a rich life now.

Some marry at 17 and some marry at 37. Some don’t at all.

There isn’t one “right age", but there is one right mindset that we are called to in Christ. We are called to be content in all situations, trusting the Lord fully (Philippians 4:12).

He is faithful to turn the page when the time is right. 

Any season can be pretty incredible when our trust in the Lord and not the situation we are in.

You’re only stuck if you want to be.

Get off the escalator. 

Heaven isn't so Far Away

If you want to find my grandpa, a.k.a “Boppy”, you probably should check Kerr Brothers Funeral Home. If you don’t see him there, check the bathroom. By now you have probably found him.

I should mention he isn’t there because he is dead. He is there because his favorite hobby is going to funerals.

 I know, it’s creepy. But let me elaborate.

Boppy has worked as chaplain at Mayfair Manor Nursing home for 38 years. The man is 75 years old, and most visitors mistake him for a resident by now. I guarantee Boppy doesn’t know any of the residents by their actual name, but he has made up an offensive nickname for every one of them that he never forgets. Thankfully, everyone knows Boppy isn’t trying to be offensive with nicknames such as “Weezy” and “Midget”.

Everyone loves Boppy. Does it sound like I’m being dramatic when I say “everyone”? Because I promise I’m not. I have never in my life known a more loved person by so many people.

Boppy cares about you- no matter who you are and no matter how old you are.

After a long day of work at Mayfair, he often makes his way to church to help with the youth. Because he cares. Or he sits down to write a hand-written letter to someone who is sick or he hasn’t said hello to in a while. Because he cares. Or he stops by Shriners to visit sick children. Because he cares. 

What Boppy cares most about, though, is that you know the same Lord that saved him. That is why God is rarely left out of a conversation. His relationship with God is real. It’s tangible.

 And that is why Boppy goes to funerals.

 Because when one of his many friends passes from this life to the next, he is often excited. Because he knows they know the same God. And to Boppy, heaven isn’t so far away. 

He spends his time at funeral homes to comfort those who don’t feel so close to heaven. To bring a smile to their face and to remind them of the Lord that saved their loved one and the Lord that either has or can save them. In the times when his friends pass that don’t know God, he is still there for the family. Because they aren’t dead yet. And he knows a secret he can't wait to share-

heaven isn’t so far away. 

So if you are ever with Boppy and he begins talking about my beautiful grandmother, Nunny, or his hilarious friend “Weezy” and then you find out they are dead, don’t get awkward. Because Boppy understands something that some of us who are younger with less faith don’t quite get yet…they aren’t dead. They are doing quite fine actually…and they are more alive than ever.

Today marks year two of my Nunny’s physical death. I miss her terribly. And it’s hard- because my faith still has a lot of growing to do. But I’m so thankful for a Boppy that reminds me  heaven isn’t so far away. 

 So see you soon, Nunny! 

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Extra Small Pants

"What Was I Thinking" Wednesday showcases photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Telling coach I would wear the extra small pants.

What was I thinking?