Livin' the Good Life

Imagine being a young pregnant Haitian woman post the 2010 earthquake. Imagine losing your husband, your children, your home…your everything.

Now get a picture in your mind of “a good life”.

What does it look like?

To most, it means a good job, good car, good house, good family and good retirement plan.

But what about the life with no job, no car, no house, no family, and definitely no retirement plan?

What about the young woman mentioned above?  

Is that a good life? 

What if I said maybe? Maybe this particular woman is living a good life?

Because life is knowing Jesus.

And knowing Jesus gives a joy unlike anything else.

 How do you lose your whole life and still have a joy?

You don’t… 
unless you have Jesus.

When the job is gone, the car breaks down, a child is lost or the money dwindles out, Jesus remains.

Joy remains.

Are you living the good life? 

Don’t look at your bank account or the square footage on your house. Rather ask yourself - if you lost those things, would you still have joy?

For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. – Matthew 16:25

Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father, except through me." - John 14:6

Are you living the good life?

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Lost

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos and videos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

 Watching Lost seven hours a day, everyday until I thought I was in the show. 

What Was I Thinking?

If Boys Posed Like Girls...

Ever notice the unique "girl pose" in photos?

You know the one:

Right arm on the hip, right leg slightly bent inwards in front of the left, body facing 30 degrees to the left with the head aimed at the camera but angled slightly downwards.

Of course, that is if a girls "good side" is the right side of her face. If it's the left side, the science is totally different.

At least that is the cliff notes version. The true science of the "girl pose" is too in depth for the blogosphere.


The other day I had a new thought, though (I know, scary)....

What if boys posed like girls?

 

Interestingly enough, the men in my family were readily available to help...

Did I say MY family? I mean I got these off of Google...

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Facetime

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Teaching Boppy to Facetime.

 

What Was I Thinking?

Being a Christian in the Humanities

By: Michelle Day

This guest post is written one of my favorite new friends, Michelle Day. She is a part-time lecturer in the Composition Program at the University of Louisville and member of Crossing Church. Plus she is a killer sand volleyball player AND on my team so I like her a lot. 

If you are also interested in guest posting on my blahg, see how here.




Trying to stand in my faith during college was a spectacular failure. That is why I was pretty excited to try again two years ago, when I started a graduate program in a humanities-related field at a public, secular university. I thought, “This is great. I will learn from my mistakes in college, commit to being the same person at church and at school, and the rest will be easy.”

Wrong. 

As soon as grad school started, it seemed like church and school required me to be two completely different people. It felt like I had split personalities. Reading the Bible and Nietzsche in the same morning, or having back-to-back conversations with people who love and distrust feminism can do that to you.

 What I realized was that I was asking the wrong question. I was asking, “How can I be the same person no matter what context I’m in?” when I needed to ask, “How can I be a consistent person, one whose actions in any context are informed by my belief in Jesus?”

 Actually, it doesn’t make any sense to think you can behave and speak exactly the same in contexts with very different social practices; even though I’m a teacher, I don’t stand and give lessons at my community group or grade what people share. But you can adapt to any context in ways that are make sense given your identity in Christ.

 In other words, the real question is, “What does it look like to follow Christ in the humanities?” And to be honest, it’s not entirely different from asking what it looks like to follow Christ in my local church.

 Consider the list below reflections on the work-in-progress the Lord has been doing in my heart on this issue over the last two years. They represent goals, not accomplishments, and I hope that they encourage any Christians in a similar position, wrestling with how to answer the bolded question above or any variation of it.

Don’t look for “THE answers,” because there’s not a set of reproducible answers to my question. I won’t find a life formula by thinking about it long and hard. Instead, I need to be looking for Jesus in everything. Elisabeth Elliott says that we often look for guidance from the Lord, but it’s more important to become someone who is guided—someone whose heart is softened to truth and toward being led by the Lord. Along those lines, the Bible exhorts us to not lean on our own understanding—finding the answers—but instead acknowledge God in every situation, and He will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5).

 Be honest about who you are up front. When I was in college, I usually kept my faith on the down-low until my friends who didn’t believe got to know me better, hoping they wouldn’t automatically associate me with negative stereotypes of Christians. But in graduate school, I adopted the opposite strategy. I let my beliefs come up naturally in conversation, but I do look for opportunities as quickly as possible to identify myself with Christ. I feel like this allows me to be honest about who I am from the beginning rather than me feeling like I’m hiding. I also hope that it helps me be more authentic and set the stage for others to feel comfortable sharing their beliefs with me, because I love having those conversations.

Look for common ground. It’s tempting to assume that there’s not much crossover between environments dominated by different worldviews. But that’s just not true. And for me, conceiving of the academy and the church as completely different made it that much harder to act and speak consistently. When I started finding similar language and ideas that the two environments use (even if they use them differently), it helped me bring my two worlds in conversation with each other, and it opened my eyes to how my studies and my church-related activities can inform each other.

Allow your beliefs to be challenged. Obviously, this one requires careful balancing. But my faith in God has deepened because of things I’ve learned from people who don’t believe in Him. Because the humanities studies human culture, I’ve studied communication, how communities develop, and how people form identities through language, all of which are relevant to Christianity. But more than that, I’ve learned that people who believe differently than me can hold up a mirror to my beliefs, so I see, through another’s eyes, the assumptions I take for granted, the things I hadn’t thought about, or the ways I’m acting inconsistently. And THAT has unquestioningly helped me love God and people better.

Ask people you trust what they think, and ask them to hold you accountable in areas you struggle. Let’s be honest; there are very few important things that we can really handle without any help. I am blessed with many friends and family who are faithful to help me work through specific instances where I wrestle with how I should respond as both a Christian and academic. I have also been blessed with three other brilliant Christians in my program who all meet to discuss how our faith and studies inform each other. All of these conversations have been invaluable parts of learning to be a consistent person. It also helps when they lovingly ask me how I’m doing with the ways I am tempted to not act consistently with my faith.


 Remember the two “greatest” commandments, and pray for the grace necessary to keep them. Figuring out how to stand in your faith when working in a highly secular (potentially even hostile) environment has to start with keeping first things first, and leaning into spiritual disciplines even more. Jesus says two commandments sum up all of them—loving the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:29-31). We are called to constantly seek, above all else, deeper relationship with the Lord, and show respect and love to people, who are all made in His image. But the whole point of Christianity is that we can’t do that in our own strength. Instead, we are called to work out our faith with fear and trembling before God, no matter the circumstances, knowing that as we seek Him, it is really God who is working in us “both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:12-13).

Why do you think Christians struggle with being a consistent person in different contexts? Anything you would add to Michelle's advice? Leave your thoughts...

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Accidental Engagement

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Not realizing my friend's hand would look like mine...talk about Facebook drama.

What Was I Thinking?

Sundays with the Days

Remember summer days as a child? They probably included running around the neighborhood barefoot, playing games in the lawn with your friends, and learning to do cartwheels in the grass.

Yeah…that’s my every Sunday.

 No, not allegorically.

 Literally.

Every Sunday I’m a ten year old in all the greatest ways. I hang out with my closest girlfriends, sit in the grass and goof off, play sand volleyball, whiffle ball, or whatever the sport of choice is for the day, and I’m even learning how to do a cartwheel. Yesterday we even played in the rain.

 And the best part is, my mom doesn’t yell at me to come inside.

 By dinnertime on Sundays, I hop in my car with dirt caked head to toe and drive back to my apartment exhausted, but full of more happiness and joy than I can explain. And I’m usually thinking the same thing:

Thank God I met the Day Family. 

The Day Family has become my family here in Louisville, as they have for so many other young people. I met this incredible family at Crossing Church, where I am now a member. I don’t just have an invitation to come to the Day household on Sunday afternoons, but an expectation. Because, by golly, I’m a part of the family now.

And Sunday afternoons are family time.

But I’m not the only one with a regularly extended expectation. On any given Sunday you are sure to find many more than just the Day family of five. You will find my four lovely Hawaiian sisters, a couple other twenty-somethings, a young married couple with their newborn, and probably a few strangers that just visited church for the first time that Sunday.

Because that’s community. And that’s the Days.

I first met Michael Day at the entrance of Crossing just less than a year ago. What he doesn’t know, is I cried my entire way to church that morning. I was terrified. And I was experiencing a lonely unlike I had ever before.

 I was in a new city, working a new job – one done most days from my computer in my one-person apartment. I didn’t know much besides this move to Louisville was the biggest mistake of my life.

 I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to walk into an unknown place full of strangers being happy. I feared I would feel that much more alone surrounded by people who knew each other and smiled and did all the “church-like” nice-people stuff. No one would see me.

 But Michael Day saw me. 

And Michael introduced me to his daughter, Abby. And Abby sat with me. And when church was over, I was expected to come to lunch at her house. There I met Abby’s mom, Ruth, grandmother, Mimi and sister, Michelle.
  
I met my family. 

I now have a very large family here in Louisville. Sundays are a little slice of heaven. All ages, all types of people, but all with one commonality – we love the Lord, and we want to know him deeper.

In fact, He is just the reason the Days open their doors to so many. Because Jesus opened the doors to the Days. From what I hear, Jesus has made all the difference in the Day family in just the last few years. He took brokenness and recreated it into something beautiful – something He is pretty good at doing.

 Kind of like He did with this “biggest mistake of my life” move to Louisville.

 Ha! I wouldn’t trade this move for the world. 




So if you are ever visiting Louisville and you want to make a travel itinerary, make sure you set aside Sunday to come to Crossing Church then go to the Days’ afterwards. You will eat an amazing homemade meal, sit around the table and talk about the Lord, and even have the opportunity to be a kid again and run around the neighborhood barefoot.

 Seriously, I invite you to join us.

Scratch that.

 I expect you to join us.

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Enough Said

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Enough Said.

What Was I Thinking?

My Friend Married Two People at Once

The only friend I've had since birth got married this past weekend. It was beautiful. From what I can tell, Justin and Caroline have a lot of happy days ahead of them. Some may find it odd, though, that the wedding wasn’t just about the two of them. In fact, Caroline didn’t just commit her life to one person at the altar on Saturday. She committed herself to two. 

Her name is Payton and she is six years old.

Payton is Justin’s little girl. And now she is Caroline’s, too.

I couldn’t hold it together watching how happy Payton was to have “a new mommy”.


Maybe it was watching that precious little girl’s eyes as she watched her dad and Caroline kiss for the first time as a married couple. Or maybe it was watching her jump up and down at the close of the ceremony screaming, “They are husband and wife!” over and over again. Or maybe it was when Caroline, and Justin danced their first dance to I Won’t Give Up and she decided to join them on the floor.

Or maybe it was because I know exactly how that little girl feels.

I’m so happy for Caroline - as happy as I can be. But I’ve never been married, so I don’t really know how she feels.

But I have been right where Payton is, and I know exactly how she feels. I was nine years old when I watched my mommy marry the man I had grown to love so much. He committed himself to my mom forever and he did the same to me. I wasn’t tainted by the world enough to have “trust issues” at nine. I just believed him. I knew he would be there.

 And he is still here.

Last night I went on a walk with my daddy. We talked about God, boys, work, skydiving, and coffee.

Fourteen years ago my dad decided to marry two people. And I’m so incredibly proud to have a friend who has chosen to do the same. It was pretty awesome to see that same trust in Payton’s eyes as she looked at my beautiful friend, Caroline. She just knows she will be there.

And I know Caroline, so I know she will be.

Here’s to the Lee Family!

Why Getting Married Young Doesn't Work

In honor of my good friend getting married this weekend, I decided to re-post what stands to be my most popular post to date. Here is my stance on young marriage. 


As a new blogger, I’m learning that following trends is everything. So it’s time that I give my thoughts on marriage.

Everyone on Facebook is in an uproar over the age one should be when he or she walks down the aisle. It leaves a poor 23 year-old like myself with all sorts of questions. How young is too young? Should I experience singleness longer or is it time to throw in the towel and buy a few dozen cats?

 It’s between marrying young or eating a jar full of Nutella apparently.

 Well, here are my thoughts. Sorry in advance for the controversy this is sure to cause.

 I’m going to get vulnerable here and draw from personal experience.

I thought about getting married once. What began as a casual acquaintance soon developed into a friendship and before long a relationship. I fell in love with no fear of the fall.

 Justin and I spent every moment together. It didn’t matter what was going on that day, I knew every hour of it had to be spent with him. So many times Justin would talk and I wouldn’t hear a word he was saying. Everything would fall silent, and I would get lost in those big brown eyes as he emptied his thoughts with so much passion. I knew I was going to marry this guy.

I was zoning out during one of his passionate rambles about who knows what when finally, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I told him I wanted to marry him.

I was ready for his embrace as he reached his arms out, but instead of hugging me he pushed me to the ground. Then someone hit the mute button again and I heard what he was saying.

 “I hate you, Jordan! How many times do I have to tell you? You have cooties!”

I threw my slinky at him and ran back home crying. I thought my life was over. But I finally came to realize I was just too young.

Now I see it just wasn’t practical. We didn’t have any money. Our parents wouldn’t let us live together. No matter how many times I got the cootie vaccination, I wasn’t cured.

I spent the rest of my elementary years heartbroken, but stronger.

And now I know...it just doesn't work to get married young.

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Coach Costume

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 


Thinking it was a good idea to be my coach for the team Halloween Party...with a little extra added emphasis to that red hair of hers...

 

What Was I Thinking?

IPods and IPads and IPhones, Oh My!

First off, let’s applaud the clever title.

Oh, stop. Let me get to the point already.

I went to Thunder of Louisville this past weekend - probably one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had. Never in my life have I spent over seven hours with over 800,000 people and actually enjoyed myself the entire time. From airplanes and Fwhatevers(cool army planes) to an incredible fireworks show at night, the sky above us was used as a stage unlike I’d ever seen.

While the airshow is amazing in of itself, it only is building the anticipation for the fireworks show, which happens to be the largest in North America. When 9:30 p.m. finally rolled around and those first fireworks shot into the air, the crowd went crazy.

 It’s hard to write about how amazing fireworks are, because in all honesty, there isn’t anything special about them on paper. But, as anyone who has been to a big fireworks show can probably attest, there is just something incredible about the experience.

 As I watched the sky explode with all sorts of colors and shapes over the next half-hour, I couldn’t help but feel like a kid again. I remembered back to the Fourth of July’s of my childhood when my family sat under our yearly church fireworks display. I was convinced that the willow-tree-like fireworks were going to keep getting bigger and bigger until they literally fell on me where I was laying on the grass. It was magical.

In light of my nostalgic moment, I took my eyes of the fireworks for a second to glance at the children sitting close to my group.

 Talk about a buzz kill. 

To my amazement, most of the kids weren’t looking directly at the fireworks exploding in the air above. They were watching them, all right - but through a screen. I turned around and saw a field of thousands behind me, all with their phones and cameras pointed to the sky above.

 IPods and IPads and IPhones, Oh My! (Still clever, right?)

 I just wanted to go grab the kid’s IPad in front of me, turn it off, and tell him, “Enjoy the show! You are missing out on something incredible!”

 Then it hit me - I wasn’t the one saint in a swarm of senselessness.

My phone's storage was just full. 

 It’s full of photos of sunsets, sunrises, and friends doing stupid things.

Videos of my baby brothers acting like lunatics and the dog chasing her tail.

All things that I am glad to have on camera. But many of these I end up deleting a few weeks later when I get the dreaded “Storage is full” alert.

Why?

Because I realize down the road, the memory isn’t much of a memory at all.

It wasn’t special.

It doesn’t make me happy to look at or watch.

Because I wasn’t fully there. I was watching an event behind a screen - like it was a television show, not reality. Not my life. Not an experience worth being fully apart of.

I just wish sometimes someone would turn my phone of and yell at me, “Jordan! Enjoy the show! You are missing out on something incredible!”

I talked to someone yesterday that gave up social media for lent. He said he feels like he has so much more time in the day, now. And he is fully involved in everything he is doing.

I want that to be me (after I write this blog, of course ;)).

Social media is great. IPods, IPhones, and IPads are great.

But before we try to record memories, maybe we should make sure we are actually making memories.

Then snap a photo or two and put it away.

It may be worth remembering after all. 

Let's Get Real

What is humility, really? 

 There are a lot of great definitions. “Humility is not thinking of yourself less, but it is not thinking of yourself at all” – this is the one I usually quote.

But today, for the first time, I think humility is something else. Something simple.

I think humility is living in complete reality. 

But what is reality?

Here is reality: 

Reality is I am nothing.

You are nothing.

Reality is we are rebellious. We are sinners. We are dark.

 No one is good.

Reality is whether we stand behind a pulpit, or on a street corner, we are the same.

 It takes one night, one decision, one moment, and all the sudden we are somewhere we never thought we would be; doing things we never thought we would do.

And reality is…it’s easy.

Reality is the only things truly separating us from a prisoner are the bars.

That is reality. 

But that isn’t the end of my reality. 

Reality is I am good.

I have everything.

Reality is I am righteous and I am saved.

And humility is LIVING in this reality.

This COMPLETE reality. 

It means to be humble, I can’t keep putting on shows. I can’t keep bouncing back and forth between my two best-selling acts, depending on what audience wants what act.

You see, I often either live in the first half of my reality, forgetting the second half – I am dark. I am twisted. I am a sinner. And I behave that way…because that is just “who I am”.

Or I embrace the second half of my reality, forgetting the first completely – I am good. I am holy. I am righteous. And I behave like I am flawless…because that is who I am.


But I am not one without the other. 

Here is my complete reality: 

Reality is I am nothing.

But I have everything in Christ.

Reality is I am rebellious. A sinner. Dark.

But I am forgiven through the blood shed by Christ.

Reality is I am not good.

But I am declared righteous through the sacrifice of Christ.

Humility means I recognize my sin. My darkness. My rebellion. And I don’t hide it to appear “holy”. 

But humility doesn’t end there.

Humility also means I recognize that I am forgiven, declared righteous, and am saved. And I don’t hide it because I am ashamed of my sin. 

I admit both: I am a sinner. I am saved. 

THAT is humility. 

This morning I admitted sin to a sister in Christ. I hated every moment of it and it definitely wasn’t easy. But it was refreshing, and it was worth it - because my pursuit is Christ…despite my sin.

Allow me to ask you something-

How can you live in complete reality? In humility?

What sin do you need to admit? What truth do you need to admit?

 Be refreshed. 

Don’t put on a show any longer. Don’t hide your sin. And if you have it, don’t hide your salvation.

 If you only have the first half of the reality listed above - a reality of darkness, sin, and rebellion - I encourage you to admit it. It is the first step to gaining a second reality - one of forgiveness and salvation.

Christians, the more we live in complete reality, the more I believe we allow the Lord to work. To help us defeat sin. To put Him on display.

 Get off the stage.

 Let's get real. 

My Lucky UK Shirt

Most people don’t believe in miracles until they happen. Well, today a miracle happened and made me a believer. I am now confident that UK is indeed going to win a national championship, and I am a big part of that victory. 

Let me explain why.

This morning I put on my lucky UK Game Day shirt. Before I go any further, let’s be honest here:

Everybody thinks they have a lucky shirt, hat, penny, etc. 

I realized as I put it on this morning that UK’s play probably didn’t ride on my outfit – although, just in case, I was still going to wear it.

That was before the following scenario happened… 

It all started when I was eating my Taco Bell breakfast taco in the car on the way to work (yes, I’m classy). I decided it needed a little salsa. As I attempted to dab some on the taco, I squeezed a little too hard. All of the sudden, the salsa sprayed up in the air and all over my car, hair, and the worst- my lucky UK shirt (please make the scary “dum, dum, dum” sound here).

 Tears filled my eyes. I still had an hour drive to my destination and I had no time to stop and try to clean up. For the record, this is a very cute white and blue chevron shirt and the RED salsa was all over the white areas.

There was no hope.

 As I got out of the car to walk inside the office, though, I looked down and a miracle had occurred…

The salsa marks were completely gone!

Seriously. 

No stains.

 I sit writing this blog, and the shirt is perfect.

 This doesn’t just mean I look amazing today…it means miracles do happen. And it means my shirt is indeed LUCKY. 

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight five freshmen are going to lead UK to claim a national championship thanks to my amazing, lucky, adorable UK game-day shirt. Don't grow faint if there is some temporary adversity (the salsa), it will soon fade into nothing but a memory.

 I’ll be distributing free autographs after the game.



Except to you, Ellen. 

Let's Cut a Deal, Ellen

Ellen.

I have a blog.

This is it.

Approximately eleven people read it a day. And that isn't including my mom.

If you send Jennifer Johnson and I to the Final Four, I will blog about you.

This is a business deal.

Think it over.

Quickly.

Make my dreams come true! And I will make you famous.



*If you are not Ellen please tweet to her at @TheEllenShow and share this link! Or Facebook her- @EllenDegeneres.

Thinking Thursday: Genius

Thinking Thursday will showcase photos or videos that left me thinking, "Wow. I'm smart". This series hopes to provide readers with proof that I do think sometimes. Also, this may be a one-part series. 

Go here to see why this is so miraculous.

Just me being genius. 

Thinking.

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Ignoramus

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Being such an ignoramus that it's almost genius.

 

What was I thinking?

Flashback Blahg: I GOT MY LICENSE!!

Flashback Blahg provides readers with a glimpse into my blog from high school. And reminds me why I wasn't at the top of the social ladder.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006-

 I GOT MY LICENSE!!

Oh yeah! I got my license!!!! 

Can you believe it!? I got a 100% on the test (alright, I lied...I got an 80...but hey, passing is passing)!

I busted a few myths on the test I would like to share:

Myth: You have to parallel park between two cars. 
Fact: You only have to do it behind one. 

Myth: You have to parallel park perfectly. 
Fact: You can indeed curb it the first time and then ask to do it again. You can even end up halfway in the road the second time and still pass! 

Myth: You have to stop at every stop sign completely. 
Fact: To pass, you can only roll through two. 

Myth: When turning, you must turn into the closest lane. 
Fact: You can turn into the far one on accident at the most, three times. 

Myth: When doing a turn-about, you have to look behind your shoulder. 
Fact: You can still pass if you forget but cry. 

So anyway, these examples are NOT personal...completely...well a little maybe....but I passed and that’s all that counts! 

OH! And another thing - make sure to stop at the little ticket thing when going back into the garage. Don't pass it until you car is UNDER the bar and another car is behind you and it's impossible to back up. You may have to get OUT of the car to push the button and when you are getting back into the car you just might hit your head on the top of the door...HARD. Then you might get a little confused and almost turn the wrong way into the garage. Then when your instructor tells you to park you might accidentally park in a pedestrian zone. Just hypothetically speaking, of course. 

Hopefully these words of advice will serve you well. 

Oh, and if your instructor begins lecturing you about how bad you did and how don't deserve your license, just simply give him the puppy eyes and say, "Please don't fail me!" and it works! Hypothetically speaking... 

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Cheese-its

"What Was I Thinking" Wednesday showcases photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way.

Confusing the seagulls by feeding them Cheese-its while wearing an orange bathing suit.

What was I thinking?

Your Deadly Weapon

What if I told you I owned a secret weapon that could hurt almost anyone, anywhere at basically anytime and never get traced back to me?

And you have this weapon, too?

And you have it in your hands right now?

Now that I have set alarms off at CIA and FBI headquarters, let me reveal this weapon.

It’s your keyboard.

Whether or not that keyboard is on a phone, tablet, or computer, it holds more power than most realize. In fact, I’m just finding that out in my recent blogging endeavors. Like most things of power, it can be used for good. It can pave the way to productive discussions, encouraging comments, or eye-opening stories. But many times, it tends to become a weapon unlike any other.

A majority of people online today aren’t “bloggers” themselves, but are reading and responding to blogs via social media at an increasing rate. Most of these blogs that have gone viral do so because they hit a nerve with people, which is definitely not a bad thing. Conversation is good. I’m a proponent of it.

But if you go to the latest “blog gone viral” on your Facebook wall and read the comments, I would be surprised if there weren’t a few that stepped over the line just a tad. Comments that attack the writer rather than his or her thoughts, or often times, assume and attack statements not even made. The more people the post reaches, the more insane some of the comments get. And what you probably don’t realize by looking at the post is that 10X as many hateful comments are coming to the person’s private inbox.

And here’s the catch: Most of these people are anonymous.

Anyone can post anything as anybody…or as a nobody.

 I’ve had my first blog go semi-viral, thanks to the opportunity to guest post on my pastor’s blog. Feel free to check it out here- if you are nice. Since this blog was posted a few days ago, I have had my first “trolls” attack- a couple directly on the post and others privately to my email inbox. I’ve seen these online trolls attack others before, but until I got a small glimpse of it myself, I didn't realize just how lethal a keyboard can be.



Here are three things I wish we would all remember before responding to a person’s post online. With these in mind, I think we can ensure our keyboard doesn’t become a deadly weapon.

• You don’t have the full story.    

A 500-word blog rarely encompasses all you need to make a full judgment on a person or their complete stance on an issue. While there is nothing wrong with questioning a person’s statement(s) or arguing a different viewpoint, it is vital to remember you do not have the full story. Many blank spaces exist where a subject is not fully tackled. Far too many times, a reader assumes and projects an author’s thoughts and stances in these blank spaces without even realizing it. In fact, the person may very well agree with what you are saying in a face-to-face conversation. An online post is one-dimensional and static. You never see all the angles of a person or the subject.  

• You can’t hear inflection. 

Although words can be bolded, highlighted, or italicized in order to create inflection within online posts, it is impossible to fully gather the appropriate tone. I’ve often realized that my mood can alter the way I read something. On a particularly stressful day, for example, I may project my short fuse onto an author’s tone and become irritated at their thoughts. Remember you are not actually hearing a person speak when you read their blog. Leave room for the possibility of an error interpreting. In such instances, if you want to understand what he or she meant, simply ask. Tell them in your comment that you interpret them to mean XYZ and ask whether or not that is the case.

• You are responding to a person. 

I believe this is the most important thing to remember in an online world. Without seeing a person’s face, it is very easy to forget you are corresponding with a person at all. I am willing to bet that 99% of arguments found online would not be had in person or would be much more mature and productive face-to-face. Realize someone is on the other side of the computer. Someone with a life, with feelings, with a family. Just like you.

 Again, disagreements are okay. Online bullying is not. Let’s make sure our household keyboards don’t become weapons of mass destruction.

What do you think?

Feel free to leave your thoughts, but please remember you are responding to a person, not just a computer.

Me vs. Bobby Perry

I was raised to believe in two things: Jesus and UK basketball.

That is why I was insanely jealous when Banks, my 11-year-old brother, began taking basketball lessons with Bobby Perry. Banks was too young to understand how big of a deal that was, but I certainly was not. I was just a few years older than Banks when I watched Bobby play as UK's starting forward.

That may or may not have also been why all of the sudden I decided I wanted to come home on the weekends and offer to take my brother to his basketball lessons. But I’m admitting nothing.

 One day, after Banks finished his lesson, Bobby stayed on the sidelines of the empty gym having a conversation with my dad. My palms began to sweat. I knew it was my shot.

 My chance to prove myself. 

So I got up, strutted onto the court, and ripped the ball straight out of Banks’ hands. He giggled and lazily put his arms up in a poor attempt at defense. Obviously he didn’t know whom he was messing with, here. They don’t call me “Jordan” for nothin’.

Frustrated at his mocking of my skill, I leaned my shoulder into his body, and pulled back for an incredible fade-away jumper.

 Swish.

 It was textbook. I made my 75 pound, 5’1” brother look like a fool.

I looked back over my shoulder and saw Bobby’s nod of affirmation (and my dad’s embarrassed nod of disapproval).

The moment was perfect.

But then they kept talking and my
brother kept shooting.

My moment was gone.

 I know it’s a silly story (although I’m still quite proud), but as silly as it is, I think this is a regular game many Christians play. Many times, it is the same show we try to put on in front of God.

As my mom continues to point out, a former UK basketball player probably wasn’t awestruck at my show of talent against my kid brother. While the point is still debatable, I seriously doubt that God, the definition of holy, is ever really that impressed with our shows of holiness.

 You know what I’m talking about…like the times when we swell up on the inside as we slip our tithe in the offering plate, memorize a Bible verse, or take a Saturday morning to serve food to the homeless.

 “Look at me NOW, God,” we think. “Did you see that? THAT was holy.”

It’s almost as if any good work we do makes up for any bad we have done.

Now, that may not be a thought process we consciously participate in, but if we are honest, I think our hearts far too often resonate with the belief that God is impressed by our acts of “holiness."

 It’s comical really. Just as attempting to show off was foolish in the eyes of Bobby Perry, the Lord says our “righteous acts are as filthy rags" in the eyes of the Lord (Isaiah 64:6).

Don’t get me wrong here - God indeed calls us to righteousness. But such acts naturally progress out of the overflow of the heart motivated by HIM and for HIM. Not by us for us.

 We are the farthest things from holy, 100% separated from a holy God.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)

 It is God’s grace that saves us. God’s grace that redeems us. And God’s grace working through us to bring about holiness.

 Our faith is rooted in the grace of God - the sacrifice of Jesus. Christians are called to embrace that grace. Not to attempt redemption by our own efforts. We get that at the moment of salvation, but somewhere along the lines some of us begin “showing off” in hopes of gaining God’s favor.

 It’s foolish. 

And it’s hurtful to a savior that sacrificed it all.

Our righteous acts don’t measure up. But HE does. And He works in and through us.

Let’s stop spitting on the work of the Cross.

It’s worth too much. 


 “O foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you? It was before your eyes that Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified. Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?” Galatians 3:1-3


Related Post: How Inauthenticity Kills the Church

What Was I Thinking Wednesday: Gilligan

What Was I Thinking Wednesday will showcase photos that left me asking, "What was I thinking?". The series hopes to provide readers with life-lessons I had to learn the hard way. 

Agreeing to be Gilligan.

What was I thinking?